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gazdkw82
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
2464 Posts |
 Posted - 30/07/2012 : 21:28:07
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Quite possibly the single biggest reason why relationships fail?
How do You deal with finances with your partner?
50/50 down the middle?
Your money is your money and hers is hers?
It should be easy shouldn't it? |
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metallicpearl
Advanced Contributer
1837 Posts |
Posted - 30/07/2012 : 21:49:43
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| We have our salaries paid into a joint account. We work out the monthly bills and each leave half of that in - bill direct debits are taken from the joint account. Then, we take out what's left from each of our salaries and transfer it to our individual accounts. Job Done. |
http://www.ladymonsoon.co.uk/
http://www.youtube.com/metallicpearl |
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G Lo
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
412 Posts |
Posted - 30/07/2012 : 21:50:29
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I earn a lot more than my wife.
I get paid into the joint account - all the bills come out of that account - and so does my monthly spending money
My wife gets paid into her account - she pays for the weekly shopping and her spending money.
It works well - it hasn't always cos we're both rubbish with money. |
Gretsch Black Widow mini-mod and a selection of Paiste 2002s
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jamoca
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
12486 Posts |
Posted - 30/07/2012 : 21:53:13
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I earn a lot more than my wife. We get paid into individual accounts and each pay the same amount into a joint account where the mortgage and bills come out of. I fund the car and tend to pay for the shopping and meals out. She doesn't really use the car for her own use, certainly not enough for me to worry about it. We each keep the rest of what we've got.
No trouble. |
Edible Goody Consumption Officer and Parallel Parking Specialist of the forum's Sonor Delite appreciation society
Personal roistering assistant to Mr Bob Dobalina and (nearly) undisputed Curry King |
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Sharklaar
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1840 Posts |
Posted - 30/07/2012 : 21:54:19
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| She doesn't have an income so my money pays all the bills and gets the nappies and baby food, then we get a pint each with the change - she'll have lager and I'll have JD; then possibly a small kebab to share afterwards (if it's a good month). The problem is that she doesn't like chilli sauce and I don't like tomatoes, so the kebab sharing can occasionally get a bit heated. Usually though, as it was me that earned the money, she will just let me get loads of chilli sauce on it and I'll eat most of it. She is a vegetarian, but I've convinced her that lamb donner meat is actually reconstituted mushroom, so everyone's a winner. |
http://www.blackhawkdown.org.uk |
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jamoca
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
12486 Posts |
Posted - 30/07/2012 : 21:55:12
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quote:
Originally posted by Sharklaar
She doesn't have an income so my money pays all the bills and gets the nappies and baby food, then we get a pint each with the change - she'll have lager and I'll have JD; then possibly a small kebab to share afterwards (if it's a good month). The problem is that she doesn't like chilli sauce and I don't like tomatoes, so the kebab sharing can occasionally get a bit heated. Usually though, as it was me that earned the money, she will just let me get loads of chilli sauce on it and I'll eat most of it. She is a vegetarian, but I've convinced her that lamb donner meat is actually reconstituted mushroom, so everyone's a winner.
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Edible Goody Consumption Officer and Parallel Parking Specialist of the forum's Sonor Delite appreciation society
Personal roistering assistant to Mr Bob Dobalina and (nearly) undisputed Curry King |
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clarky_182
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
5020 Posts |
Posted - 30/07/2012 : 22:42:09
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| We both get paid into the same account, and it's considered our joint money rather than breaking it down into my money and her money. Never understood the thinking of having separate money within a marriage. |
Filthy Habits- old school angry shouty blistering crust-bitten hardcore anarcho DIY speed-punk rock from South Wales.
http://www.punkrockers.com/Filthy%20Habits |
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mully
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
23892 Posts |
Posted - 30/07/2012 : 22:46:51
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quote:
Originally posted by gazdkw82
Quite possibly the single biggest reason why relationships fail?
How do You deal with finances with your partner?
50/50 down the middle?
Your money is your money and hers is hers?
It should be easy shouldn't it?
There is no hers or mine in our house with regard to money. What money we have is ours and whoever needs it or wants it uses it. All our money goes into one single account. Bills come out, and what's left is ours.
Stephen |
MD Fount of All Wisdom for Life and Extraordinary Amusement Officer of the forum's Sonor Delite Appreciation Society.
"Jayz mully, you're like the Django of the internet!" - scottser on the Drumming Ireland forum |
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Wannabedrummer
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
777 Posts |
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moosetication
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
12063 Posts |
Posted - 30/07/2012 : 23:39:02
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quote:
Originally posted by clarky_182
We both get paid into the same account, and it's considered our joint money rather than breaking it down into my money and her money. Never understood the thinking of having separate money within a marriage.
This. |
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New Boy
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
5149 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 00:03:27
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| Seperate accounts, I pay for everthing bar the food as Mrs C only works part time. We have a joint savings account though. |
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Sharklaar
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1840 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 07:02:07
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quote:
Originally posted by New Boy
Seperate accounts, I pay for everthing bar the food as Mrs C only works part time. We have a joint savings account though.
What is this mystical entity you speak of? |
http://www.blackhawkdown.org.uk |
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dwpaddy
Advanced Contributer
Ireland
22527 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 07:45:09
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All in one pot.
Except any increases I give myself..that goes into another pot.
Reason is she's a bit crap at finances. So every now and then I manage to pay for something (holidays etc) from the other pot which she knows nothing about. She doesn't question much. On the rae occassion she has I put it down to my drum earnings. |
DWP
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Captain Bubble
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
14622 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 08:06:01
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| Squeak and I do not live together as we both like to have time together and time apart for our own activities. We have separate finances but anything left over from bills we share whatever we can when we are together. No complications, no mistrust, easy and harmonious and that's what we both want. This suits how we are, but if we were ever to live together it would be a simple "all in one pot" arrangement. |
Marcus de Mowbray
www.330studios.co.uk/marcus |
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Allegro
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1525 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 08:34:42
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| Based on all the replies, it would appear that the generic answer is; it depends on the relationship. |
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dwpaddy
Advanced Contributer
Ireland
22527 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 08:35:37
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quote:
Originally posted by Allegro
Based on all the replies, it would appear that the generic answer is; it depends on the relationship.
agreed |
DWP
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Cardiacs955i
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1637 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 08:46:30
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My Missus & I each have our own accounts that our pay goes in, then a joint account for all household/food/shopping/kids/holidays etc.
We transfer enough into the joint account each month to cover all bills & leave us with an equal balance in our personal accounts for spending on our own hobbies through the month. This way we get the best of both worlds - one safe pot for the family & some personal money to do with as we choose. |
My Kits: Premier Drums. Stagg, Zildjian & Paiste Cymbals; TD8, Kit toys cymbals, SPD-11.
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jamoca
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
12486 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 08:48:58
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quote:
Originally posted by dwpaddy
quote:
Originally posted by Allegro
Based on all the replies, it would appear that the generic answer is; it depends on the relationship.
agreed
Also depends on what works.
I wanted a joint account with everything going in, she didn't because her parents didn't.
We discussed at length and then it worked out that due to our immigration statuses it made the most sense if we had separate accounts while here, so we do that and our non-UK accounts are joint accounts.
It works - nothing to do with the nature of the relationship. |
Edible Goody Consumption Officer and Parallel Parking Specialist of the forum's Sonor Delite appreciation society
Personal roistering assistant to Mr Bob Dobalina and (nearly) undisputed Curry King |
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logic_user99
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
10129 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 09:10:39
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As Mrs Logic doesn't work full time, my salary covers all of the household expenses. Anything left over from that goes on family extras or into my pocket if I need drum bits etc. Money she earns goes on additional food and such and anything that the boy needs (childcare costs, etc).
We do have a joint savings account where money towards the house deposit is going. |
Drums | Cymbals | Sticks
"Starting my professional life from scratch..." |
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gazdkw82
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
2464 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 09:12:59
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quote:
Originally posted by dwpaddy
quote:
Originally posted by Allegro
Based on all the replies, it would appear that the generic answer is; it depends on the relationship.
agreed
agreed + 1
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Captain Bubble
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
14622 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 09:29:13
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| Any relationship based on mutual trust will save all the rows and stress, including over financial arrangements. If finance is causing stress then there is mistrust or selfishness within the relationship. |
Marcus de Mowbray
www.330studios.co.uk/marcus |
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Badman_batman
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
667 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 09:43:32
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I take all of my pay and give it to my wife to be from both jobs.
If i need anything i just tell her i need £££ and she doesn't argue or ask what its for, just hands it over but i told her if she needs anything just get it im not bothered. It used to be that i contrlled my money and i was unwilling to give it up easily but my son came along and immediately i didn't care about MY money it was OURS
What works for one wont always work for another
My mate has a wife of 10 years and they have been together since school so something like 17 years, he bought a house solely in his name whilst married and she pays him rent to stay there but they have a very happy life and are still together
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facebook.com/thedrumchapel
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irish_steve
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
2872 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 09:43:40
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quote:
Originally posted by Cardiacs955i
My Missus & I each have our own accounts that our pay goes in, then a joint account for all household/food/shopping/kids/holidays etc.
We transfer enough into the joint account each month to cover all bills & leave us with an equal balance in our personal accounts for spending on our own hobbies through the month. This way we get the best of both worlds - one safe pot for the family & some personal money to do with as we choose.
Me and the missus do the exact same thing. |
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Yard
Advanced Contributer
Uzbekistan
5231 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 09:50:27
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quote:
Originally posted by mully
quote:
Originally posted by gazdkw82
Quite possibly the single biggest reason why relationships fail?
How do You deal with finances with your partner?
50/50 down the middle?
Your money is your money and hers is hers?
It should be easy shouldn't it?
There is no hers or mine in our house with regard to money. What money we have is ours and whoever needs it or wants it uses it. All our money goes into one single account. Bills come out, and what's left is ours.
Stephen
Same here.Whoever needs it has it.
I have friends who have been together forever and still split 50/50...a bit too businesslike for me. |
Shut it and whack the poxy things!
www.vintagedrumyard.co.uk
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mully
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
23892 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 10:02:46
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quote:
Originally posted by Sharklaar
quote:
Originally posted by New Boy
Seperate accounts, I pay for everthing bar the food as Mrs C only works part time. We have a joint savings account though.
What is this mystical entity you speak of?
I too have wondered this. I have heard of such a beast, but I thought it was up there with unicorns, dragons and the like.
We have a coppers jar.
Stephen |
MD Fount of All Wisdom for Life and Extraordinary Amusement Officer of the forum's Sonor Delite Appreciation Society.
"Jayz mully, you're like the Django of the internet!" - scottser on the Drumming Ireland forum |
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Captain Bubble
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
14622 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 10:04:23
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quote:
We have a coppers jar.
Stephen
Well give it back to him. |
Marcus de Mowbray
www.330studios.co.uk/marcus |
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mully
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
23892 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 10:23:36
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quote:
Originally posted by Captain Bubble
quote:
We have a coppers jar.
Stephen
Well give it back to him.
{begin_infinite_loop]
No, we need it to keep our coppers in.
Stephen |
MD Fount of All Wisdom for Life and Extraordinary Amusement Officer of the forum's Sonor Delite Appreciation Society.
"Jayz mully, you're like the Django of the internet!" - scottser on the Drumming Ireland forum |
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Sharklaar
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1840 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 10:31:28
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quote:
Originally posted by mully
quote:
Originally posted by Captain Bubble
quote:
We have a coppers jar.
Stephen
Well give it back to him.
{begin_infinite_loop]
No, we need it to keep our coppers in.
Stephen
We have a police station for this. |
http://www.blackhawkdown.org.uk |
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shoestring
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
2885 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 10:51:03
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One joint bank account. If i need money i withdraw it or ask for it, no questions. My wages from work, singing, windfalls, anything, belongs to the Mrs to do with as she pleases. She is responsible for getting the kids clothes, shoes, food shopping so how could i restrict the purse strings? It's been like that since before we were married as i class us both as a team, so it works well for us.
However, i know plenty of relatives and friends who have separate bank accounts so i don't think there is a right or a wrong way.
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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1050426 |
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thebeaver
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1839 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 11:19:39
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quote:
Originally posted by Sharklaar
She doesn't have an income so my money pays all the bills and gets the nappies and baby food, then we get a pint each with the change - she'll have lager and I'll have JD; then possibly a small kebab to share afterwards (if it's a good month). The problem is that she doesn't like chilli sauce and I don't like tomatoes, so the kebab sharing can occasionally get a bit heated. Usually though, as it was me that earned the money, she will just let me get loads of chilli sauce on it and I'll eat most of it. She is a vegetarian, but I've convinced her that lamb donner meat is actually reconstituted mushroom, so everyone's a winner.
You fukcing legend, you!  |
Tunbridge Wells Music School
www.twmusicschool.com |
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Dezzie
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
3433 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 11:44:50
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| I desperately need a woman with a "good head for money" right now. Trouble is, i can't handle relationships. |
David.
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moosetication
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
12063 Posts |
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mully
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
23892 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 12:21:38
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quote:
Originally posted by moosetication
quote:
Originally posted by Dezzie
Trouble is, i can't handle relationships.
Colour me surprised.
WAITER! Saucer of milk for Table 9, please.
Stephen
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MD Fount of All Wisdom for Life and Extraordinary Amusement Officer of the forum's Sonor Delite Appreciation Society.
"Jayz mully, you're like the Django of the internet!" - scottser on the Drumming Ireland forum |
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thebeaver
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1839 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 12:34:40
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quote:
Originally posted by Dezzie
I desperately need a woman with a "good head for money" right now. Trouble is, i can't handle relationships.
There's a street near me with lots of girls offering "good head for money". Want me to inquire for you? |
Tunbridge Wells Music School
www.twmusicschool.com |
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Sharklaar
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1840 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 12:37:45
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quote:
Originally posted by thebeaver
quote:
Originally posted by Dezzie
I desperately need a woman with a "good head for money" right now. Trouble is, i can't handle relationships.
There's a street near me with lots of girls offering "good head for money". Want me to inquire for you?
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http://www.blackhawkdown.org.uk |
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drummerant
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1348 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 12:59:46
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Me and my girlfriend currently have seperate accounts, we've only been living together for a year (next month). But I think we are considering a joint account, I'm not going anywhere fast and she seems to be sticking around so I cant see the problem. I pay ALL the bills direct debit and she gives me half in cash/puts in the bank for me. IT works fine and we dont have a problem with it, it just seems easier to have it come out of "our" account instead. We did recently argue because of money, but probably due to tiredness and work related stress :D but I think this was also due to other unexpected expenses and frustration got taken out on eachother instead of the one(s) responsible!
The only annoying thing is "going out" as meals are paid by one of us and that would be easier to have "the" debit card and then it wouldn;t matter who pays. The only thing I like is I can spend my money on drums and she can buy shoes or what ever she wants and theres not hard feelings, although I doubt there would be anyway.
What a load or carp. I want my money back. (dont ask) |
www.fvfdrums.co.uk |
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Danny Sticks
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1696 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 13:12:40
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quote:
Originally posted by clarky_182
We both get paid into the same account, and it's considered our joint money rather than breaking it down into my money and her money. Never understood the thinking of having separate money within a marriage.
I see a lot have this view and i understand it, but not completely agree. I'm happy for a joint account but its nice to have SOME separate money. Like if i want to buy my young lady a meal or a present, i want it to be out of MY money.
... and of course if i wanna buy some "essential" music purchase as well i'd prefer it if it was my money i'm "wasting"
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The Bucket - www.bucketoftentacles.co.uk |
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OriginalAnimal
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
19300 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 13:23:45
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We used to have a joint account, but Mrs OA wasted it on such frivolities as food, bill etc......
Now we have seperate accounts so she can buy food and I buy drums & alcohol |
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Jobeky, 2Box Drumit 5, Premier, Highwood/DM drums Paul Brook Snare, Matt Nolan cymbals, Silverstone Drum (seats) Thrones. Los Cabos drumsticks
Re Cycling drums is the future. |
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tuppster
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
9075 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 19:50:08
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quote:
Originally posted by mully
quote:
Originally posted by gazdkw82
Quite possibly the single biggest reason why relationships fail?
How do You deal with finances with your partner?
50/50 down the middle?
Your money is your money and hers is hers?
It should be easy shouldn't it?
There is no hers or mine in our house with regard to money. What money we have is ours and whoever needs it or wants it uses it. All our money goes into one single account. Bills come out, and what's left is ours.
Stephen
This is the Tuppster family way also.
As it is the Mully family way, of all the ways, it must be the correct one. Any further discussion on the topic is therefore pointless.
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I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition
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http://s139.photobucket.com/albums/q295/tuppster_photos/ |
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monkeythedrummer
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
9183 Posts |
Posted - 31/07/2012 : 20:27:40
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I'm not married to mine, but we are getting a house together, and live together now.
We both have our own money, and pay things like rent 50/50. She earns a fair whack more than me but I've got some savings we tend to split things.
We are about to buy a house, and will both pay the Mortgage off from two separate accounts. After a while we will perhaps get a joint account, it just takes some adjustment. We are both very careful with money, and although some might think it odd we split everything 50/50 and then spend our "own" on clothes/drums etc it means we never, ever have had any argument about cash.
I understand the romantic "what's mine is yours" but as so many relationships argue about money it's a worry.
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100% NOT SELLING Yamaha DTXplorer Module, 5x ddrum triggers, mesh heads and Yamaha E-cymbals. |
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Th0mas25
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
8336 Posts |
Posted - 02/08/2012 : 22:57:18
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quote:
Originally posted by Cardiacs955i
My Missus & I each have our own accounts that our pay goes in, then a joint account for all household/food/shopping/kids/holidays etc.
We transfer enough into the joint account each month to cover all bills & leave us with an equal balance in our personal accounts for spending on our own hobbies through the month. This way we get the best of both worlds - one safe pot for the family & some personal money to do with as we choose.
Exactly what we do. We both work, we both earn roughly the same and we have our own accounts. Every month we pay into a joint account for mortgage, bills, food etc. We also pay into a joint savings account every month for holidays, home improvements etc. And also pay into a savings account for T25jr. Whatever's left in each of our accounts is ours. For days/nights out or whatever we roughly take it in turns.
I think it only works because we earn roughly the same though, otherwise it would be a little unfair. But for us it really works well, as all the essentials are covered first and we make joint decisions on everything that comes out of the joint accounts. MrsT25 saves & invests what she's got left though, and I'm always skint but I've got my drums, guitars, motorbike, bikes etc. |
http://bjornsdrums.webs.com/ |
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WendyB
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
5648 Posts |
Posted - 04/08/2012 : 08:59:32
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| In our marriage, MrB takes very little heed of the finances and leaves me to organise everything. We each use a separate, but joint, account for salary and pay for different things according to our earnings. Ours is a rather complicated financial arrangement, however, as we have several other accounts used for different things including that weird savings stuff. It might be unusual but its not complex and it works for us. |
I am No 5
www.wearefullyloaded.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/ AND www.unforgivenmusic.co.uk
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shoestring
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
2885 Posts |
Posted - 04/08/2012 : 13:17:09
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quote:
Originally posted by thebeaver
quote:
Originally posted by Dezzie
I desperately need a woman with a "good head for money" right now. Trouble is, i can't handle relationships.
There's a street near me with lots of girls offering "good head for money". Want me to inquire for you?
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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1050426 |
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ian-40
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
6209 Posts |
Posted - 04/08/2012 : 15:34:24
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quote:
Originally posted by Badman_batman
My mate has a wife of 10 years and they have been together since school so something like 17 years, he bought a house solely in his name whilst married and she pays him rent to stay there but they have a very happy life and are still together
Winner ! |
26 |
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WendyB
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
5648 Posts |
Posted - 04/08/2012 : 15:46:43
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quote:
Originally posted by ian-40
quote:
Originally posted by Badman_batman
My mate has a wife of 10 years and they have been together since school so something like 17 years, he bought a house solely in his name whilst married and she pays him rent to stay there but they have a very happy life and are still together
Winner !
Does he declare that income on his tax return? |
I am No 5
www.wearefullyloaded.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/ AND www.unforgivenmusic.co.uk
Honorary Forum Cupcake Baker. Nomnomnomnom. |
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scoobydude
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
2486 Posts |
Posted - 05/08/2012 : 12:51:34
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| I earn a lot more than my wife, but all our money goes into the same account. We don't have such a thing as "mine", everything is ours. We started out with nothing, but we had nothing together. We've still got nothing, but it's still ours. I've never understood separating things in a marriage. What's mine is yours and all that....... |
www.scoobyband.com |
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gazdkw82
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
2464 Posts |
Posted - 07/08/2012 : 15:27:01
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quote:
Originally posted by scoobydude
I earn a lot more than my wife, but all our money goes into the same account. We don't have such a thing as "mine", everything is ours. We started out with nothing, but we had nothing together. We've still got nothing, but it's still ours. I've never understood separating things in a marriage. What's mine is yours and all that.......
this is how id like to view it.
i seem to have a problem with finances within my relationship and i dont know how to solve it
its soul destroying  |
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