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Bucko
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
584 Posts |
 Posted - 01/08/2012 : 14:52:30
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Hi there dolberians, I post today looking for advice. Over the past few months I've been feeling put off with the whole trying to make it big with a band scenario. My playing seems to have got worse/ reached its limit and the band has gone from being fun and playing music with my friends to bitchyness and moaning at every practice. To me its become a hostile enviroment and at the minute is more of a chore than something I enjoy. Currently all my ideas and old drum parts are being picked at and changed up until the point where basically none of the parts are my own (the guitarist is also a drummer and I believe at the minute he write songs with parts he wants and just expects me to play them).
The band itself seem to be doing well, we have just realesed our debut, had an amazing EP launch and the EP is on our itunes. The next morning after the EP launch I couldn't of been happier it was one of the best night of my life so far. But after this things seems to have turned sour with me not really feeling wanted and I'm strongly considering leaving and getting a "proper job" I have applied for a few apprenticeships to see what response I get. I'm just wondering whether to get a full time job and play music for fun and play weekend gigs. I feel as if I'm going nowhere slowly. Now throughout all the moaning and bitchyness my band mates are my best friends and I feel I'm holding them back and I'd rather leave and let them carry on and still remain friends if that could still work. I'm honstly not sure and quite confused to be honest
Sorry if this is a bit of an essay
Advice would be appreciated
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Mapex Meridian (Gold Sparkle)
"Make every hit count"
Current Band - https://www.facebook.com/TakingLibertiesOfficial
@whyayecabaye
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Captain Bubble
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
14622 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2012 : 15:31:36
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Whoever writes the songs has some reason to expect them to be played as intended when hiring session/backing musicians to play for him or her. A band is a partnership so the lines are less clear, and that so often makes things tricky. You seem to like the people and music and feel that it is going somewhere but your personal musical creativity is being stifled. Can you try to change your attitude to be more like a sessioneer: playing what is wanted by the song writer? Sometimes a shift of your own attitude can make a difference.
Then how about writing music yourself and put them to the band to see if they are welcome? If so great, and you can decided your parts!
As you are friends talk it over with them. |
Marcus de Mowbray
www.330studios.co.uk/marcus |
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metallicpearl
Advanced Contributer
1837 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2012 : 15:50:55
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I'd he honest about how you feel. I've been in your boat and I know where you're coming from. A number of times, though, I've been wrong and have listened back and realised the part the songwriter suggested playing does sound better and more appropriate. The key here is whether they will listen to how you feel about it and attempt to work a compromise with you if it's something you feel that strongly about. If they won't, re-evaluate your position as it's clearly not what you want.
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http://www.ladymonsoon.co.uk/
http://www.youtube.com/metallicpearl |
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OriginalAnimal
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
19300 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2012 : 20:09:33
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How much are they paying you per session? OK I don't really want to know, but, If they are paying you to play then play what they want, if not, then try to discuss your feelings.
Be honest, is there really a chance, or will they be playing for free in 5h1tty venues for the next five years?
If so, move on, you need to enjoy what you are doing, if the banjo plucker is so good, why doesn't he play the drums as well?
There are bigger and better bands out there!
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I have no time to practice, I'm gigging. Leicester Drum Sniffers Anonymous. #17 of the 582 & 17 0f the 798 World Record Holders.
Jobeky, 2Box Drumit 5, Premier, Highwood/DM drums Paul Brook Snare, Matt Nolan cymbals, Silverstone Drum (seats) Thrones. Los Cabos drumsticks
Re Cycling drums is the future. |
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Captain Bubble
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
14622 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2012 : 20:13:09
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quote:
Originally posted by OriginalAnimal
How much are they paying you per session? OK I don't really want to know, but, If they are paying you to play then play what they want, if not, then try to discuss your feelings.
Yup! |
Marcus de Mowbray
www.330studios.co.uk/marcus |
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Dezzie
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
3433 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2012 : 22:04:34
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| Could it be that you have just ridden the (sine) wave of euphoria and are just experiencing the "trough" before the "plateau"... and it's "stop fortnight".. a pretty *******ty time for some if you've got no money or plans for a break. |
David.
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Bucko
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
584 Posts |
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Sharklaar
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
1840 Posts |
Posted - 02/08/2012 : 13:54:53
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I go through the same occasionally, and it always gets better.
Much like the elevator business, band life has its ups and downs. |
http://www.blackhawkdown.org.uk |
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Th0mas25
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
8336 Posts |
Posted - 02/08/2012 : 22:26:52
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It sounds to me like you need to sit down and discuss your feelings with the band, especially if they are friends. Keeping your feelings pent up can do no good, and who knows, maybe they have concerns that they want to get off their chest too. Talk it out!!
It sounds like you've worked hard to get where you are now, and you're proud of what you've done, it'd be a shame to pack it in without at least making your feelings known. Good luck with it whatever happens!!
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http://bjornsdrums.webs.com/ |
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Bucko
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
584 Posts |
Posted - 08/08/2012 : 17:17:35
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| Had the discussion on monday and it went really well, discussed everything and even managed to get an apology for some of the stuff but I decided that I thought it would be better for us if I left and we just stayed mates. I've had a great time playing gigs, recording and everything else. In a nutshell I'm leaving on goods terms on a uncertain date (when they find someone as good or better). But now beckons the question should I go out and try to get a decent job and play music for fun or go straight back out there and find another band...... |
Mapex Meridian (Gold Sparkle)
"Make every hit count"
Current Band - https://www.facebook.com/TakingLibertiesOfficial
@whyayecabaye
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Prog
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
21168 Posts |
Posted - 08/08/2012 : 17:29:27
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quote:
Originally posted by Bucko
I'm leaving on goods terms on a uncertain date (when they find someone as good or better).
That could drag on and on. I'd set a date after which you'll no longer be part of the band. |
Funktion Junction, coming soon to a holiday park near you - http://www.funktionjunctionband.com |
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Me2.
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
12462 Posts |
Posted - 08/08/2012 : 18:30:09
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quote:
Originally posted by Bucko
Had the discussion on monday and it went really well, discussed everything and even managed to get an apology for some of the stuff but I decided that I thought it would be better for us if I left and we just stayed mates. I've had a great time playing gigs, recording and everything else. In a nutshell I'm leaving on goods terms on a uncertain date (when they find someone as good or better). But now beckons the question should I go out and try to get a decent job and play music for fun or go straight back out there and find another band......
I honestly think you should stick with them for a few more months - or until the end of the year and see how it goes. I'm assuming you could still get a job and play with them?
No bands perfect - everyone goes through phases. Now you've cleared the air things might change. Give it until the end of the year Bucko. 4 months will pass before you know it. 
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My Tempus
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WendyB
Advanced Contributer
United Kingdom
5648 Posts |
Posted - 08/08/2012 : 19:16:38
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| Id be tempted to stay as long as possible, see if the success does come and all your work will come to fruition, then decide. There are so many band members who have quit just before fame and fortune struck, but you also need to do what makes you happy. If you are on good terms with the guys, make sure that continues in the band scenario as well as at the pub. Don't forget, the life of a paid drummer is tough, you may not find another band quickly, and a day job can always be jacked in if success comes knocking. |
I am No 5
www.wearefullyloaded.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/ AND www.unforgivenmusic.co.uk
Honorary Forum Cupcake Baker. Nomnomnomnom. |
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